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FROM THE INTRODUCTION
In
our society, when it comes to dieting, there is a, "Get your
butt in gear," mentality. And the more one weighs, the worse
it gets!
If you have been "trying harder" to tackle your excess
poundage for weeks, months, or even years without success; if
you find yourself falling back into the same destructive patterns
time-after-time; if you are facing a growing sense of hopelessness
regarding your size; then this book is for you.
Within these pages you will recognize that you are loved just
as you are. You will find hope and will be encouraged to never
give up, no matter how many failures you have logged into your
history. Finally, you will find freedom from guilt: the challenge
to do your best and then let the rest fall under the precious
blood of Jesus.
Gasping
for Grace
"This
book should be read by every Christian! This isn't just
about dieting - it's about living the Christian life."
Gwynn Conrad
Missionary to Spain
Upon Book Release
Written by the author 11/24/03
As this book
is submitted to the public, I am delighted to say that God continues
to love me, to teach me, and to conform me to the image of Christ.
While the scale continues to show me numbers I don't like, I have
changed in these past two years: I am at peace with God's choice
of timing and plans for my life, my body, and my future.
I remember
wondering about all this on that day when I completed the final
devotional, just 31 days after I began. On that day, I was pondering
the miracle of the lessons I'd learned, and how, often during
the process, I had actually pushed the keyboard away exclaiming,
"No! I do not even believe that!" Each time, God,
would lead me back to His Word and the truth in the Scriptures
that He needed me to see.
That final
day, I was feeling relieved. I was confident that the manuscript
could now gather dust until I "had arrived" at my
goal weight, at which point God could "really" use
me.
About then,
I had this odd thought, "Would it be of greater benefit,
from God's perspective, if I were free from my weakness in this
area before sharing this message or if I were to tell His story
while yet in seeming-captivity, physically imperfect, yet at peace:
knowing that my release had been paid for in full, but not yet
delivered?"
I knew
which way I wanted things to go, but I honestly didn't have
an answer.
Amazing
as it seems to me, I now have peace to submit this labor of
love to you. So, practically speaking, and for the moment, I
guess I have my answer.
Many questions
remain, but what I do know, at a deep, heart level, is this:
I used
to believe that it was my job to abstain from sin. I lived with
that as my goal and obsession: I was often overcome with grief
and hopelessness.
Now I believe
that it is my job to focus on Jesus and His ability to live
through me. When I sin, it is then my job to believe for and
receive His forgiveness, just like I did the first time.
I'd love
to be serving Jesus from the comfort of my "dream" body,
and someday I will, either here or in heaven. But until then,
I'll just look to Jesus, from whence comes my Help.
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SAMPLE DEVOTIONAL
Day 25
Whatever we produce
in and of ourselves, apart from God, has no eternal value.
Any work that comes through us, because of God, has great
eternal value.
Romans 6:6
We know that our old self was nailed to the cross with
Him in order that our body of sin might be made ineffective
and inactive for evil, that we might no longer be the slaves
of sin.
God
has not granted us immediate freedom from sin; but He has
made a way for our sinful natures to be ineffective and
inactive for evil.
It
is not through our own efforts, nor our sinlessness, that
we bring honor to God. It is as we yield each moment to
His care that He is glorified through us.
The
way in which pearls are formed offers a valuable lesson
in dealing with sinful tendencies: those sin patterns which
haunt us; the ones for which we have repented and pleaded
with God for freedom numerous times.
Nature's
pearls are lustrous and are treasured as valuable. To help
us grasp a godly principle, we need to understand how they
are made.
First,
some irritant, such as a grain of sand, enters into an oyster.
This grain of sand is so aggravating that the oyster covers
it up with layer after layer of a readily available substance.
The oyster does not retaliate by covering it up with the
nastiest substance it can find. Rather, it uses the best
thing it can find---the same substance with which it lines
the inside of its own shell. After several successive layers
have been applied, a pearl is formed.
Our
natural reaction to repetitive sin patterns is to throw
something worthless, or even hurtful, at them. We insist
on saving ourselves.
Yet,
from the analogy of the oyster, we see that God may desire
to receive glory from the very sin-irritant that we have
been "trying to fix."
An
oyster does not stuff the irritant down; it does not try
to ignore it; it does not become more and more angry until
finally, in desperation, it spits it out. Instead, the oyster
takes its most precious possession, the substance of its
most beautiful and perfect aspect, its interior lining,
and coats the problem repeatedly.
The Holy Spirit inside of us is our most beautiful and perfect
aspect. He invites us to bring our sin to Him for covering.
Jesus' blood washes over our sin and allows God to make
something beautiful out of our most irritating and disheartening
features. |
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Photo by Tim Swedberg
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But
he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power
is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all
the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may
rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses,
in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For
when I am weak, then I am strong.
II Corinthians
12:9-10
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For
to be sure, he was crucified in weakness, yet he lives by God's
power. Likewise, we are weak in him, yet by God's power we will
live with Him to serve you. II Corinthians 13:4
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NOTE FROM MARNIE
Written on 12/30/01
(before the book began)
My journey
of dieting discouragements began at age 14. I remember it perfectly!
On that day the scale announced I was up, from my normal 108,
to a sobering 111 pounds.
It was shortly
after
that time that I was humiliated when the zipper on my favorite
pair of jeans popped in front of my future brother-in-law, of
all people!
Ever since,
the diets have been numerous, the prayers have been constant,
and the roller coaster has been as nauseating as it has been ineffective.
At the age
of 15, trying desperately to keep the pounds off, I joined a health
club. One day my instructor didn't show up, and I, knowing the
routine by then, took over the class. The rest is history: I went
on to manage three Spa Petite Health Clubs after which I owned
a corporate fitness business called, "Forever Fit."
I have been
on every imaginable diet including weeks of eating nothing but
chicken breasts and egg whites.
I have exercised
compulsively, at my peak: 4 hours per day (2 hours teaching aerobic
dance, one hour of weight-lifting and one hour of ballet).
I have gained
and lost thousands of pounds. One year I used a daily weight log
and figured out that I'd lost 78 pounds
but gained 87.
Today, at
age 40 and weighing in at about two hundred pounds, I can honestly
say that, while I am saddened by my size, I am grateful for this
life-long battle with weight control.
I can be
thankful because I can see that God has taught me countless valuable
lessons (of humility, patience, faith, grace, mercy, etc.) through
my years of struggling with this obvious and repetitive sin failure.
Don't get
me wrong: being fat isn't a sin! But for me, the gluttony, deception,
control issues, and numerous other self-sins that have lead to
excess poundage, are a burden to my heart.
Everyday,
sometimes many times a day, I confess my wrong-thinking about
food. Less often, but far too often for my preferences (and the
scales' satisfaction), I confess and repent wrong actions involving
food.
At these
times, at all times, really, I rely fully on the saving grace
and forgiveness of the cross of Christ. I often repeat the promise
from Romans 8:1 which says, "There is therefore now NO condemnation
for those who are in Christ Jesus." Since I am in Christ
Jesus, I find much comfort here.
If
we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth
is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just
and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
I John 1:8-9
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Excerpt
from Marnie's letter to Laurette Willis before their January, 2009,
teleconference on exercise, diet, and godly lifestyles for Leadership
Attitudes and the Leadership
Club.
Laurette Willis
is the Director of PraiseMoves® Fitness Ministry. She produces
PraiseMoves and other Christian Fitness DVDs and certifies PraiseMoves
Instructors, helping to bring a Christ-centered alternative to yoga
to churches and fitness centers worldwide. Please see: www.PraiseMoves.com
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Some
things you should know about me:
- I started managing a health spa for women when I was 17.
- I owned my own aerobics company by 19, selling in-house fitness
programs to big companies.
- In 1987, I experienced God in a dressing room (a new experience
for me).
- I believe I understood God to tell me that He would take me to
my ideal size (about 5 pounds less than I weighed at that moment).
I was delighted and excited!
- The journey from 135 to 130 has taken me on a detour to 230 pounds
and size 24!
- This would be shocking for anyone, but I was addicted to diet
and exercise; I spent several years in confusion.
- At size 18, I had another God encounter, which prepared me for
the rest of this journey.
- I am 100% at peace with this whole mind-boggling route and God's
upside-down methods.
- I have such a heart for those who struggle with weight issues
(unlike my previous pride!)
- I am committed to assisting every woman to be her best for Christ,
including health-wise,
- but I am more committed to Christ Himself and His specific plans
for me and all of us.
Thanks for attempting to assimilate the above information. A portion
of my story is told in the eBook, Gasping for Grace, and the rest
in an unpublished book called, "While I Was Waiting" which contains
over 500 pages of letters I have written to my grandmother, journaling
my journey. I have NO way of knowing for sure that God did speak
this promise to me or if I just heard my own wishful thinking or
a demon.
However, each
time I have asked Him for help, comfort and instructions along the
way, He has given me peace that I am, physically and spiritually,
exactly where (and how) He wants me to be.
From this position of humility, I serve.
Thank YOU, Laurette,
for coming alongside me for this program. I am a HUGE believer in
balanced exercise, eating, rest and stress-managed living. |
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