Should she do the laundry, or sit with her kids and play?
Do the beds need making?
Should the dusting wait?
Maybe I should call a friend in trauma
Or bake a shut-in a cake.
I should reaching out to neighbors,
Massage my husband’s neck
I’ve gotta drive kids to the soccer game –
should I stay for the game or head back?
So much to be done, so many demands,
How can I know what to do?
How can I see the needs up to me
The things God wants me to do?
Oh, I want the approval of others
Are my decisions based on that need?
I hear them say, She’s too busy for me.
I scream, No! I try so hard to be there for you.
I hear them cry, Never time to play with me
And I say, what about … and name the times.
My heart aches for approval
For the acceptance of man
My man in particular and my kids for sure
But then there are others –
My boss, the pastor and
the women at church.
Oh God, find me a place, God.
Carve me a corner
Somewhere I know I’ll feel
Accepted by You.
Oh, that’s so funny –
I already am!
100% accepted by You.
Oh, see, that’s funny –
All of this running
All of this striving
When I’ve got peace in You.
Oh, not so funny –
I keep thinking of this
I’m trying to please the wrong person
I have JUST ONE Maker
ONE Lord –
Oh God, what do YOU want me to do?
by Marnie Swedberg