How does one decide how to spend her days?
Should she do the laundry, or sit with her kids and play?
Do the beds need making?
Should the dusting wait?
Maybe I should call a friend in trauma
Or bake a shut-in a cake.
I should reaching out to neighbors,
Massage my husband’s neck
I’ve gotta drive kids to the soccer game –
should I stay for the game or head back?
So much to be done, so many demands,
How can I know what to do?
How can I see the needs up to me
The things God wants me to do?
Oh, I want the approval of others
Are my decisions based on that need?
I hear them say, She’s too busy for me.
I scream, No! I try so hard to be there for you.
I hear them cry, Never time to play with me
And I say, what about … and name the times.
My heart aches for approval
For the acceptance of man
My man in particular and my kids for sure
But then there are others –
My boss, the pastor and
the women at church.
Oh God, find me a place, God.
Carve me a corner
Somewhere I know I’ll feel
Accepted by You.
Oh, that’s so funny –
I already am!
100% accepted by You.
Oh, see, that’s funny –
All of this running
All of this striving
When I’ve got peace in You.
Oh, not so funny –
I keep thinking of this
I’m trying to please the wrong person
I have JUST ONE Maker
ONE Lord –
Oh God, what do YOU want me to do?
by Marnie Swedberg